if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
