Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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