He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
