I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
