I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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