i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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