I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
