The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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