508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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