Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I think I won the penis lottery.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
