just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Boobs speak an international language.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
