Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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