wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
