I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
