you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
