This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
