I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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