I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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