That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We left the knife in your bed.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
