We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
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