he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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