im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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