my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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