I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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