What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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