So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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