there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
