well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Sext me about skeletons
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
