A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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