It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
