i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Ladies don't puke and tell
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
