so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
