Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
