maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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