just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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