Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
