I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
The power of my boobs compel you
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize