your thong is hanging out like whoa
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It's just like the Real World with babies
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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