i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
