I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
