I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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