I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
