I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
