she looked like the before picture.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
We left the knife in your bed.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
What happened to fro yo and sex?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
