So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
