Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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