We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
