Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
ttyl tear gas
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
