even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
