his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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