So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
