I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shit smells like andre
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
whose parrot is this?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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