Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
