Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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