using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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