I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
