when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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