Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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